The nights still find me crying when I think of you. I see your face so frequently in the world around me. Reminders everywhere stirring up memories.

Nikki Mullens class of JHS 04

Hi Teddy!

I was just thinking about you today and came across this blog in memory of you.  We went to Jesuit together but really became friends our senior year.  You always had such an infectious smile that would light up a whole room. Whenever I was down all I would need was a Teddy hug and it would make whatever my problem was seem pointless. We took Tech Theater class together and whenever I couldn’t figure out how to use a saw or my buildings were not coming together, you would always be there to secretly help me and never take any of the credit.  You had a very caring soul. You were my partner in crime. Upon graduation we both went our separate ways, but I can remember you calling my Freshman year at OSU just to catch up, chat and let me know that you cared about me.  Thank you. Teddy you are truly missed.  I know that you are now in heaven looking down upon  me and all the lives that you touch in your short time here on Earth. Rest in Peace Teddy.

 

Love,

 

 Nikki Mullens class of JHS 04

Almost a Year

It has been almost a year now that you left us. The empty space that was once you is vast. The loneliness for your companionship is immeasurable. I miss you and think of you every day. We had a family camping trip to Fort Stevens; you were not there to build the fires or chase after your nephew, Sal, as he was learning to ride a 2 wheeler. Time is supposed to heal – make bearing the loss easier – it doesn’t. I have to learn to live with the loss, like a person who loses a limb. One learns to get by, laugh, do well, but no matter what - you are never whole or quite the same. OK – just not the same.

I can feel your presence from time to time. Thank you for that. I am so thankful that you left us some recordings of your music, it too gives comfort. I know you are at peace among the stars and angels in the sky. I look up frequently and imagine your smile as you once were, smoking your pipe, sitting by a campfire, guitar and beer close at hand….

Love,
mom

Glimmer

I've stood where you ended your life. I miss you.

A special day...

We observed Teddy's birthday today. Austin, his family, Anne-Marie, Salvador, and Ben, Dustin and his wife, Cristine, Carole and I met up at the Mt. Calvary cemetery and gathered at his grave site. Carole lit a candle and place some flowers in a holder. Carole had brought some hymns that were often sung towards the end of funerals. I said some heart felt words and then we sang 'Happy Birthday' to Teddy. I commented that this was the first time that I had cried while singing 'Happy Birthday'. Carole passed around a flask of Pendleton whiskey and each of the adults took a sip.

We adjourned to the Rock Creek Tavern to have a late lunch. Carole had bought a German Chocolate cake (Theodore's favorite) from Beaverton bakery which we enjoyed for desert. Each of the attending family members were given a 'birthday present', an item that had been special to Teddy once. All and all it was memorable remembrance of our youngest son's 25th birthday. We didn't get a birthday present 'wish list' from Teddy this year. I wish we had.

On a farm

Ted and I worked on a farm near my parents' house for a summer in the early/mid 2000s. It was great working with Ted, who was consistently hilarious throughout what could often be an otherwise staggeringly boring workday. Working in the greenhouse, we used to marvel as the thermometer would approach and exceed 105 or 110 degrees. It was sort of a competition to see who could withstand the highest temperatures. Ted was a strong guy, which offset my occasional feebleness at the heavy-lifting tasks. He was easy-going, but also diligent, in helping out.

Ted only broke the irrigation pipes only once, and he handled it well. The pipes were unmarked and situated immediately next to turning areas for the tractor, so it happened pretty often that one of us clipped one. He swiped the top off of an irrigation pipe while making a turn with the tractor. Watching from a distance, I watched as Ted slowly got off the tractor to inspect the damage. He seemed amused, composed. Ted didn't curse or kick the pipe (which I would have done), but rather he calmly strolled across the farm to inform the boss of the problem. No hurry - just going for a walk over to the farm office. I think this was the physical humor he thought best suited the situation. Ted fixed the pipe himself.

On another day, the farm owners were engaged in a heated (and audibly profane) argument about some of their less successful business ventures. The argument resonated all across the acres and acres of growing plants. At some point, when the f-bombs were flying fast and furious, Ted looked up at me from across the row we were planting and mouthed, expressively, "OH...MY...GOD..." It was about 98 degrees that day, and neither of us relished the idea of working in the icy silence between the farm owners for the rest of the afternoon. Luckily, within a few minutes, one of the owners came out and politely relieved us of our afternoon duties.

Ted had some time to kill before his drive home, so we went by my parents' nearby house and stood waste-deep in their above-ground pool We listened to The Cure and enjoyed the afternoon off by drinking Pepsi. Ted had good taste in music, and obviously was a hugely skilled musician. He tried to teach me a couple of things on the guitar, but alas, I lacked any significant musical ability despite Ted's patience. That afternoon, we both hoped that the business would still be intact the next day (we both needed the wages). Luckily, it was.

One of Ted's running jokes for the summer was using Elton John lyrics in idle conversation. In particular, he would ask me what day tomorrow was on a Friday, and I would answer "Saturday". Ted would immediately jump in with Elton John's massively annoying, "Saturday! - Saturday! - Saturday!" lyrics. This was always, always funny. He suckered me into saying "Saturday" many times, which he marked by singing that awful Elton John song. Ted managed to work the "Saturday" chorus into many conversations, always just slightly out of earshot of everyone else.

I didn't get to interact with Ted as much in the years after we worked together, but I always thought highly of him as a strong, intelligent, honest guy. He made our summer farm work much more enjoyable than it would have been otherwise through his humor and helpful attitude. I know he will be greatly missed.

- Dan Serres

Promise to you

Theodor,
Upon first meeting you, you impressed me as a good kid on the cusp of becoming a great man. I will remember your fantastic and absurd sense of humor. I will remember your warmth and kindness. I will remember your imagination, creativity and your gentle spirit. Circumstance and chemistry conspired to cut your time short, and robbed the world of your presence and potential. My promise to you Teddy; is to pick up my share of the load of that potential. I will try to live with your humor, your warmth, and your spirit. You be at peace Teddy, you fought something akin to fighting sleep, and I know you fought well, now rest.
-Jason Morrow

Awaken

If we did it over again, do you think our laughter would still ring true? If time granted us change, our lives diverged, would my love for you ring in my ears, my tears fail to fall and the mourning remain locked inside as it is? There is no changing chance; our decisions progress us through time. I will always love you. I loved you then, and I love you now. Regrets won’t bring you back, so I will put them aside the best I can. I do remember you. I cannot say as much for other things in my life, but you have ear-marked time in my mind and will remain forever present. I will see you again. A life time shall pass for me, hopefully only seconds will pass for you, and I will stand by your side. Sleep long brother. Awaken to greet those that come behind to join you, in the clearing at the end of the path.
-Austin Wienecke

Echos

My name is Michelle Martinez (AKA Michelle "M"...), and I want to echo Sarah's thoughts. It speaks volumes about Teddy how that one particular memory has been so vivid, and seems to serve as the quintessential example of how much fun our childhood friendship was with him. Whenever I think about him -- and I have thought about several times since seeing him last as an 11 year old, wondering how he's been, sending him happy thoughts -- I think about how hilarious and kind and generous he was. Granted, I laugh a lot anyway, but I laughed non-stop when he was around, and like Sarah said: our cheeks hurt after spending that day with him. I wish I could have known him better as he grew up; I suspect we would have stayed lifelong friends if I hadn't moved away after 5th grade.

It's no secret that this world can be a difficult place to live in, and sometimes we just get gripped by the darker side of things - but I don't think anything is gripping Teddy now. I believe he's free, at peace, and continues to have an existence with that same carefree joyful spirit that was such a joy to be in the presence of when we were kids.

Thank you,

Michelle Martinez

Swinging

My name is Sarah Chrusoskie, I have a memory or two to share about Teddy.
We went to HT together and he probably had no clue but I had the biggest crush on him when we were kids... I always thought he was kinda cute even when he had the dreadlocks :) . But beside my little admission there I think my favorite memory of Teddy is when my family moved to Salem. The Wienecke's and Martinez's came to help us unpack and move in. I was 11 at the time and was a bummed out that I was leaving my best friends. Having Teddy and Michelle come out there made the move a little more enjoyable for me. I don't think us kids got much accomplished in the way of unpacking but we did break in the back yard tree swing. Michelle, Teddy and I took turns swinging around on that rope singing "I believe I can Fly" at the top of our lungs. That night I had laughed so hard and had so much fun my cheeks hurt. That memory in particular got me through some of my own depression. When I had a hard time adjusting to a new school, making new friends or was down in the dumps and lonely, I would fling myself around that tree and I could get back to that carefree/happy state of mind...

Teddy- It breaks my heart that you are gone and I wish I could have shared my tree with you. I hope you are at peace now.

Mark and Carole, you are in my thoughts.

- Sara

NBA Wanabees

The way I will remember Teddy is summed up in the picture of him with the neon pink and black coat with the backwards green hat. Teddy was always one of the kindest and most caring people I ever had the joy of knowing. He made growing up an awesome experience. I have countless memories of him and I at Holy Trinity, but the time that stands out in my mind are from the "NBA Wanabees" basketball team we did in 8th grade at the T-Hills basketball league with all our Holy Trinity friends and my brother as the coach. I think those were the most fun all of use had together. That team picture is the one of all of us in the white cut off jerseys with Nathan and Neil holding the basketballs and Teddy is on the left.

-Tom Graham

Then

Fueled with Pabst he ran the Portland city streets. Across the railroad tracks, down to the river, up past New Season's and then back to our home in Sellwood on Marion Street. Teddy was skinny as a post then. Working at a floral farm outside Oregon City, he was a svelt monkey the summer of 2004. His motorcycle, a Yamaha with a freshly painted flat black gas tank, sat in the driveway. We were a P-town punk family just trying to get by. No money, just jars of ice water in the fridge. My wife and I had our room and Teddy slept in the closet of his. The walls let in the cold; in the summer they let in the heat, but we smiled together just the same.
-Austin Wienecke

Pillars

Entering into marriage, Mark and I we knew that we were two very different individuals. We believed in Kahlil Gibran’s image of marriage being like two pillars holding up a structure. If the pillars stood too close, or too far apart the structure would fail and fall apart.

We were married almost six years before we had our first son, Dustin, four years later, Austin, our second son was born and five years later, our youngest and last son, Teddy was given to us. All three sons grew strong and became pillars assisting us in holding up this structure of family. Each pillar was different, unique, talented and each one an integral part of the structure. There we stood, five strong pillars sharing the calm and beauty of life and withstanding the storms. Only, the youngest, Teddy, took such a beating in one of life’s storms that he was weakened. His column cracked. He searched and searched for a way to be repaired. The rest of us tried to stand taller, stronger, watching for oncoming storms and praying and hoping to shield him from any more damage. Dustin’s wife, Cristine and Austin’s wife, Anne Marie joined in the fight. Their children, Alex, Jayden, Sal and Ben refreshed Teddy with play, laughter and love. Then a storm of such magnitude crashed into Teddy. None of us could stop it. His foundation shook, the wind blew like never before, there was thunder and lightening. He could not hold on. He fell off the bridge in a dark cloud. As he was falling - God reached out his warm and gentle hand and took Teddy’s soul. HE held his soul gently in the palm of his hand and welcomed him into a place of peace.
-Carole Wienecke

My son

My son has taken his life. His mother and I will miss him deeply. We are devastated. But he will never again feel the pain or have to deal with the inner monster that had claimed his psyche. We'll never know the pain. But we do know the sorrow. Peace be with you, Teddy.

I love you so much.

So it begins

You see a website meant to honor the memory of Theodore Wienecke. He took his life from us this month, August of 2010, but where life ends our memories here can begin. Thoughts, stories, photos or letters to Ted, send them in an email to villagegreenarborists@gmail.com, and I will be sure to post them. Thank you for loving my brother-
Austin Wienecke